Friday, April 11, 2008
I find myself making a lot of funny noises lately. I will just be walking along or in the shower or sitting at my desk at work and something will come over me, I'll think of the moment Mary called with news that Noah was our son, or the moment I ran back into the house to tell Anil and we hugged like never before, and I will choke up and a squeal or a gasp or a deep breath with audio will just escape from my mouth before I realize it. It's so strange, and sort of embarrassing. I told Mary on Wednesday when she called that I was discovering sounds I didn't realize were hidden within me. They aren't exactly the most attractive sounds or altogether pleasant to the ear, even my own, but they are chalk full of emotion and glee, that much I know.
Since learning that we had passed court came 2 days ago, we have officially hit whirlwind mode. Nothing could have prepared us for this. We leave to meet our son and bring him home 2 weeks from tomorrow. That is just impossible for me to really comprehend, even though I booked the plane tickets and I continue to feverishly search for an affordable place for us to lay our heads at night.
It's still not sinking in, but slowly, with every gasp and nervous laugh, I am realizing that this is all too real and it's not going away. We have a son. And that is the most brilliant and exhilarating thing that has ever happened to me in my life.
I want to blog more about my LA shower. I just want to document here how phenomenal it was. I'm going to try to get to that this weekend. And of all things, my family is throwing me a shower in IL next weekend. So this weekend is the only one we have to organize and pack – it's going to be pretty intense. But we are so motivated, so ready to be parents, so beside ourselves with excitement, I have no doubt that it will all get done. We are also fortunate enough to have terrific friends willing to help, so life is exceptional and truly, unbelievably good.
I started on his closet last night - cleaned out the mess that was in there and started hanging his little clothes. A labor of love.